The Right to Safety

I heard about a survey today, that asked men and women about their greatest fear, when going on a blind date. I couldn't believe the answers. Women said they were most afraid of being raped, or even killed. And guess what men were most afraid of? Whether their date would find them attractive, or not. Can you believe that? Why is this possible? Why is this a reality? I don't know how accurate this survey was, or who it was done by, or any of that. But what I do know, is how it made me feel. Angry....very, very angry. I can't speak for men, because I'm not one, so I don't know how they feel; although, I'd be interested to know. And I can't even speak for other women. But, I can speak for myself, and right now, I need to do that. I need to let this anger have some airtime. I understand fearing for your safety. I understand it all too well. And I know what it's like to feel unsafe with men. I grew up with an unsafe father, and have known many more unsafe men, in my life. Too many. So maybe, my experience is not the norm. Maybe, my judgement is somewhat clouded. But, what if it's not. What if we are a society of women, who really are walking around, afraid of being brutalized by men. The very people, who are supposed to be our protectors, could, in a moment's notice, be our perpetrators. This is reality, and has been, for a long, long time. I could ask 'Why'... but I know there will be no explanation, that would appease my rage. So, instead, I ask...How do we change this? How do we create a society, where women, children, and men, feel safe enough, to let their guard down. And, is that even possible? Perhaps, it's just a fantasy, in my head. Perhaps, it's just the dream of one little girl, whose tired of working really hard to find safety, in a world that's often felt unsafe. And, maybe, little by little, the world is changing. I know that, today, I do have a few male friends, who I feel very safe with, and I do sense a shift, happening with men. I notice them getting softer, and more open to their feelings. I see them opening up, to a new way of living. It's a good thing, and it gives me real hope for the future. So, I think my dream may just be possible, after all. Feeling more hopeful, Robbin P.S. It was not my intent to inflict anger towards all the good men out there. This is not about you. Please know that I am eternally grateful for all the men, who are stepping up, and being positive, loving role models. You are such blessings. Thank you.

The Path of Dreams

Happy 2010 Everyone!! A new year... a new decade... and so many new possibilities!! I'm doing something totally different this year. I'm allowing myself to dream.....to dream big. I say, allowing, because dreaming was something, that I've had trouble letting myself do, in the past. I really didn't believe that they would actually come true, so what was the point. Better, to save myself the pain, and just not have any. And then, 2009 happened, and I found myself doing things, that I could have never imagined (see previous post, if you would like to see a short list of these things). At first, I thought these were just random events, and I was just taking the opportunities, that were being placed, in my path. Yes, I was taking the opportunities...but, were they just being placed randomly, or were they actually the culmination of my persistence and determination, to have a better life. In the past, I've tended to believe, that I was at the mercy, of the Universe, and just had to deal with whatever it put in my path. But, what if the Universe has always been answering my dreams, even when I couldn't dare to let myself articulate them? So, this year, I'm gonna actually start telling the Universe what I want, and who knows what will happen And so, I'm really excited, to be involved in my friend, Andrea's, Creative Dreamer project. Check out the link. It's going to be very exciting. I can just feel it. So, without further ado, here is my list of dreams....big and small, and everywhere, in between. Some are already happening, some, I know will happen this year, and others, may take a little longer...but it's all good, 'cause I know that life is full of possibilities, just waiting to happen... 1~ write and publish a book about my life..it's been quite a ride, and I have discovered that I touch people, when I share my story! 2~ travel to Mexico to see the Monarch butterflies! 3~ let go of my bedroom furniture, and get the furniture I really want! 4~ continue to share my story through public speaking! 5~ eat healthier more often! 6~ detoxify my body! 7~ restore my body to it's natural vibrancy! 8~ start a meditative dance group! 9~ welcome the love of my life, into my life! 10~travel around the continent, in a camper truck, with the love of my life! 11~be paid well for doing what I love! 12~forgive quicker! 13~let go of guilt! 14~tell the people that I love, how much they mean to me, more often! 15~take a hot air balloon ride! 16~and go hangliding! 17~and ride in a biplane! (can you tell I love the freedom of the open sky!! 18~go on a spa vacation in a beautiful warm country! 19~let go of needless worry & anxiety! 20~laugh more! 21~sleep like a peaceful baby! 22~sing onstage @ a sunday service! 23~be more of my true self more often! 22~be silly more often! 23~wear a sari! 24~accept compliments easy and graciously! 25~meditate daily! 26~do more readings @ my spiritual centre! 27~continue to write in my blog, openly and honestly! 28~believe in myself and my abilities more! 29~be more generous! 30~be more grateful! 31~dance more! 32~travel to Italy! 33~spend more time with Mom! 34~do more ramdom acts of kindness! 35~follow my instincts more! 36~share my gifts more openly! 37~let go of back pain, and all pain, for that matter! 38~get my passport, so I can go to Italy & Mexico, and lots of other places! 39~spend more time out in nature! 40~handle my prosperity in the best way! 41~go to a nude beach! 42~learn to quilt! 43~travel across the country, all summer, attending folk festivals! 44~attend a toastmaster's group! 45~be a nude model for an art class! 46~sing more! 47~swim with dolphins! 48~ride in a glass bottomed boat! 49~be content with myself, just as I am! 50~This is a big one, and writing it down feels very powerful, and pretty scary ~ I've been having this vision, in my head, for a few years now, where I am living, with the love of my life, in a big, beautiful, yellow house. It's a home full of light, love and laughter, where family and friends feel at home. Life is simple and easy, and love flows freely. I'm ready to allow this dream to become a reality. That's my list for now. It feels really awesome to share it with all of you. Thanks for reading. Blessings, Robbin