Fly Little Grey Dove Fly

The happy couple, during the courtship phase, before the eggs were laid. Aaaahhhh...the freedom!

I had some very special houseguests this summer. Technically they were balcony guests. A most beautiful pair of pigeons, decided that my balcony was the perfect place to raise their family. I love all birds, but pigeons hold a very dear place in my heart. I was truly honored that they choose my home, to be their home, for a little while. You see, this wasn't the first time that pigeons had come into my life. Pigeons have been showing up, with powerful messages, for me, for a long, long time. I just didn't always understand.

The first time a pigeon came to me, I was only 8 years old. This pigeon was very near death, and in fact, did die, while I held it in my hands. I don't remember what the 8 year old me was feeling, at the time, but I do remember that there were unbearable things going on in my life. Things that I couldn't understand, and had no way to deal with, at that time. In hindsight, and with enlightened awareness, I now know that pigeon came to give me this message;

"Go to sleep, little one, go to sleep for a while. It's not safe now."

And so, part of me went to sleep. And I got through those years and that time of my life.

My next pigeon encounter would not happen for 30 years. I was staying at the Victoria Inn, which is what I call the Psych Ward at The Victoria Hospital. Great place for a little R&R! Seriously though, all that nasty stuff that I couldn't look at back when I was a child….well, it now wanted (and needed) to come out. You can well imagine, I was scared, overwhelmed, and so uncertain of what to do. One evening, I was doing a jigsaw puzzle, and thinking about how I would piece my life back together, when all of a sudden, I heard this loud noise against the window. I pulled the blind open, and there again, was a pigeon…. flapping its wings furiously, working very hard to get my attention. We sat watching each other for a long while that evening, and this time I heard the message, loud and clear.

"Wake up little one, wake up. It's safe now. It's time."

That was 13 years ago, and I've worked hard at waking up and remembering what I needed to remember, and feeling what I needed to feel, so that I could process it and let it go. It's hard work…there's no denying that. But it's worth it. So worth it.

So, you can imagine, when the pigeons showed up on my balcony late this summer, I was very excited, and very curious…and just a wee bit nervous. What kind of messages will they bring this time? I paid close attention, 'cause I didn't wanna miss a thing… and here is some of what they taught me.

The first message was....Don't assume that just because you haven't seen the male after the fun courtship and mating phase has ended, that he has disappeared. After some research, I discovered that the male pigeon actually sits on the eggs, in the daytime, (which is why I was no longer seeing him) and he also makes milk, to feed the young, just like the female. Total equal opportunity household! That's so cool. I didn't know that he was on the nest, in the daytime, because I couldn't actually see the nest. You see, it was behind a door, that was leaned up against the wall, at one end of my balcony, and I was actually afraid if I popped my head around the door to investigate, that a protective pigeon parent would fly into my face. Not good! So, I had to keep my nose out of their business. And that actually became part of the lesson.

Not everything is my business, and I don't have to be in charge of everything, for it to go smoothly. REALLY!

So, because I couldn't see the nest, and really had no idea what was going on back there, I had no choice but to trust that nature was taking its course, and that everything was happening just as it should. What I could do was educate myself about pigeons…which I did…and pay attention…which I did. I actually didn't even know if there were eggs back there. I just had to be patient, and wait. Not easy for me.

After what seemed like forever, one day I found a broken pigeon egg shell on my balcony.

I cried happy joyful tears.

But…I still couldn't see them, and I couldn't be certain that they had hatched….or if maybe a crow had had some lunch. Again, I waited and trusted.

It took another 2 weeks…and then one day, I heard the unmistakable squeaking of baby pigeons, at feeding time, and I finally knew there were real baby pigeons there…for sure.

I cried more happy joyful tears.

But, now the nights were getting pretty cool, and I worried it may be too cold for them to survive. Again, I waited… and I trusted… and I waited… and I trusted. And then, one glorious day, I finally saw them peek out from behind the door.

So many happy joyful tears.

Very soon after that, they jumped out of the nest, and they we were, standing face to face looking at each other…. checking each other out. How lovely to finally meet them, after all this time.

More happy joyful tears.

And then, in the days after that first meeting, I noticed that I never saw the parents anymore, and I was concerned that they had abandoned them. I contacted a wildlife rehabilitator, and she came to check them out. She assured me they were healthy and that the parents were staying away from the nest (but still close by), to encourage the young pigeons to start flying. I knew they could fly, because they took their first little flight, when she tried to pick them up. My job, she told me, was to not feed them, and to dismantle their nest, and to make my balcony an inhospitable place for them to be, so that they will leave and become independent. Apparently, young pigeons will become complacent if you make it too comfy cozy for them…the same as adult children…if you let them. This was tough to do, but I was learning to trust, and I figured that pigeons instinctively know what to do. After all, they've been doing it for a long time, without my help.

Over the next few days, I cleaned up lots of pigeon poop, and took away all signs of their nest. They watched me very curiously. We had lots of little chats over those few days. Often, they would stand right up close to the edge of my 11^th floor balcony, and look over, and I swear, I could feel their fear and trepidation… and I would assure them that it was all gonna be okay…. that if they just did it…if they just started flapping their wings a little, they would start flying. I told them that I knew they could do it. I told them how much I believed in them. I assured them there were so many grand adventures out there to take part in, and that there was a whole world just waiting for them to explore. During this time there was much wing flapping going on, on my part, and many choruses of "Fly little white dove fly" being sung. I'm sure it would have made for a great reality show called "Adventures of a Crazy Bird Lady".

Anyway, you know how the story ends…one day, they just flew away, and I haven't seen them since.

Lots of sad (yet happy and joyful) tears.

I trust that they are out there having grand adventures, and living their amazing pigeon lives. I'm happy to have shared my space with them, for a short while, and I feel like I helped them to have a good solid start in life. A start I wish I'd had. And I miss them….but really, I'm the lucky one. They brought me such joy and taught me so much about letting go and trusting.

~ Trusting that even when I can't see the whole picture, I can still believe that amazing wondrous things are happening.

~ Trusting that even when it feels scary looking over that edge, that it's all gonna be okay….I only have to take one step at a time.

~ Trusting that my wings will carry me wherever I need to go….to all sorts of grand adventures that are just waiting for me, out in the world. All I have to do is flap them a little.

And that was the message from my faithful pigeon friends this time;

"Trust little one. Trust. You've worked hard. It's time. Spread your wings and fly."

The babies, in the days before they flew away.